9 Ways to Handle Critical Bitches and Unreasonable Motherfuckers

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Why would you allow an unreasonable person to get in your head and annoy you with  their difficult attitude or opinions?

Maybe it’s your boss or coworker, your girlfriend, or some hot Russian girl you’ve slept with a few times. Here are 10 tips to keep that annoying waste of humanity from ruining your awesome day.

  1. Put Attention on Them when they criticize you

                   If you only remember one thing from this list THIS should be it!               

Some aggressive motherfuckers always focus on the problem instead actually trying to resolve the issue. They want to place attention on you and make you feel inadequate. They want to control you by focusing on you rather than attempting to actually fix any real problems, so throw that shit right back at them.

If you become defensive you are only falling into their frame and allowing them to control and scrutinize you. SO REMEMBER there are 2 THINGS you should do when criticized:

1: Maintain a positive frame. You haven’t done anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with your work or behavior. You have been working hard and doing well. Refuse to accept her premise that there is something wrong with you.

2: Put attention on them. When they scrutinize you, just throw the attention back on them by calmly asking questions.

Here are some good examples:

Motherfucker: Your performance hasn’t been very good lately

You: Have YOU thought about exactly what YOU want from everyone?

Motherfucker: You haven’t been doing a good job keeping clients coming back to us

You: Have you thought about exactly what our clients want?

Motherfucker: why don’t you buy me more expensive gifts? You are so cheap!

You: why don’t you be more considerate and buy something for me?

Motherfucker: You are an idiot

You: Well if you don’t treat me with respect I won’t talk to you. Is that what you want?

Motherfucker: You are so unreasonable!

You: you still didn’t answer me, why don’t you answer my question?

So now I want you to think of your own situations where someone has criticized you, and where you think someone might criticize you in the future, and think about how you can respond in a way that takes attention off of you and focuses it on them.

Calmly ask your questions in a genuinely inquisitive way. You really want to know the answer, and by asking these questions you neutralize their controlling critical influence over you.

2.    Stay Cool Bro

When they start complaining, telling you something you don’t want to hear, or seem to be refusing to listen to your reasonable input in the interaction, then you should just relax. Keep cool. The problem only gets worse if you seem like you are reacting negatively to them. Don’t escalate the negative energy in the situation. If your positive, relaxed frame is stronger than their difficult to interact with frame, it will help both of you to relax.

Relaxing will also help you to think and communicate more clearly. You obviously wont be affected by their nonsense, and they will sense that they have no power over you!

3.    Run if you can!

Some people just aren’t worth the effort to humiliate by confronting them with how ridiculous they appear to the world. Value your time. Don’t waste it on arguing with people who haven’t earn time with you.

4.Widen your Perspective on the Situation

I had a manager at my job who was a real bitch. But after thinking about it, I realized that a lot of her negative and insulting behavior came from a lot of pressure she had to make the company more successful, as it was financially struggling. So even though I still didn’t like her, I understand her perspective more, and it helped me in dealing with her by trying to cooperate with her to solve real problems rather than just be affected by her negative bullshit.

Widening your perspective will help you to not take some nonsense personally and avoid misunderstanding. This simple idea also helps you to keep your cool and be more constructive in dealing with difficult people.

5. Only Argue if you really care about being Understood.

You don’t need to confront everyone about everything. If it’s some trivial nonsense that doesn’t affect your or your life, then you don’t need to get emotionally involved. If your boss wants to cut your hours, explain why that’s a terrible idea and fight it, in a calm, thoughtful manner of course. It feels really empowering when you express an opposing viewpoint that is important to you. But if you don’t really care about the outcome of the interaction, then don’t get upset about it. Only fight when it’s really worth it.

6. Be Strong but Understanding

Demonstrate that you have excellent leadership and social skills while maintaining the desire to cooperate. You will earn their respect and they will also be forced to respect you and your requests.

For example:

“I want to talk about this but I can’t with you yelling. Let’s either sit down and talk more politely, or talk about this again another time.” This establishes you want to cooperate and also offers a choice for them to make, putting you in complete control.

“It would be cool if you come with us, but if you are late then we’ll go without you”

Be willing to solve problems and demonstrate your leadership skills at the same time.

7.Be Humorous

By being humorous you are obviously not negatively affected by their negative, critical, difficult behavior. When your frame is strong everything just bounces off you, you find any situation humorous. This one time I was talking to a girl, and she suddenly asked me, in a kind of accusatory tone, “are you trying to pick me up?” I just said, “wow, you think every guy who talks to you wants to pick you up? You must be popular” she laughed and relaxed and it was a much friendlier interaction after that.

When someone is giving you are hard time, just look for the humor in the situation, and express your humorous side when the opportunity arrives. If you take the moment to seriously, that opportunity will never arrive.

8.Standup to Bullies

We’ve all heard that bullies are often insecure and are victims themselves. But you need to let them know you wont take their shit. When you standup for yourself they will back down. I know it can be difficult, especially the first time you do it. But after you start doing it, you will be proud of yourself and people will be much less likely to mess with you.

9.Point out the Consequences of their Bullshit.

If you can articulate the consequences of their nonsense, you will gain their respect and they will be more likely to cooperate with you.

Such as in a previous job, my boss said she wanted to take away almost half my hours at work so I “would have more time to work on other projects.” I told her, actually I already have enough time and in fact, if she takes those hours away from me, I will be forced to find another job to make up for those lost hours, so I would not have enough time to focus on the projects as she suggested. So I asked her, “Is that what you really want?”

Let them know that their ridiculous nonsense has negative consequences. Just like if they disrespect you, let them know you don’t talk to people who disrespect you, or that you beat the shit out of people who disrespect you, though I wouldn’t recommend violence, the point is, they often don’t know there are negative consequences to their behavior.

Think about these things. Write down what will help you and start enhancing your communication skills when handling difficult people.

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Maxim

I started coaching confidence, and communication skills to men in Asia when I was confronted with the immense limiting beliefs of men who had not yet realized the power in authenticity, confidence and social skills. I read every day and I am passionate about history, travel, and the pursuit of truth.

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